MISSION STATEMENTS and YOUR RELATIONSHIP

The Mission Statement of an organization is a short but complete description of the overall purpose and intentions of that organization. It states what is to be achieved, but not how this should be done. Organizations often write a mission statement to help focus their activities and state their priorities.

I believe adopting this approach within our relationship can be a highly effective tool.  After all, a relationship is an organization, made up of 2 people who would do well to understand their common goals - not only in the long run, but in the short run as well - for example when heading out to an event or into a task that may  carry with it more variables than you deal with on a normal daily basis.  

When my partner and I are headed into a hotbed of new and potentially disorienting variables beyond the norm of our everyday lives, we talk it through first.  We get clear on our intention for entering such an environment, (ie: to visit with family and have a conflict free Christmas dinner).

Then we think through potential obstacles to achieving our goal, (uncle harry, fictionally & hypothetically, might get drunk and inappropriate, which might not be a big deal to me but might push certain buttons from my girlfriend's background and cause her anxiety).  

We then create a plan to take care of each other (the individual components of our organization) and thereby our relationship from the potentially damaging stress of that situation.  We discuss with one another what it would require of each another to manage such a situation, and stay on task of our original goal.

This may seem a cold and unheartflet approach, but in actuality it is an under taking designed to care for the heart.  The last thing you want to do is try to figure out what it is a heart needs in the midst of it already being fearful and defensive.

A relationship is a "system" of moving parts and variables, and when new potentially overwhelming variables are going to be introduced into the mix, it is always better to be prepared than taken by surprise.  If a system reliant on electrical components, normally operated indoors,  is going to be exposed to the weather, (the weather being an unpredictable set of variables) then it would make sense to prepare to care for that system by showing up armed with a waterproofed tent.  It may never rain, but you never know.

Another example might be heading off for the Dinah Shore weekend with your girlfriend, or on a "Sweet" adventure vacation.  How often are you and your partner in the midst of hundreds of other lesbians, partying and out for a good time.  It can be a total blast, but I would encourage a conversation first.

Be honest with each other about what you both hope to get out of the weekend.  Are you looking for intimate alone time?  Are you looking to mingle and meet other new people?  What might come up for you if someone flirts with your girlfriend ? How would you appreciate her handling something like that? What potential situation might cause strife for one partner in a way the other never would have foreseen if it weren't for the "mission statement" conversation.

Give it try, open that conversation.... And if you need some guidance,  let's all discuss it here...